You Want to Do Your Best.
You’re wanting to do the best you can as the parent of a child (of any age), who does not identify as the gender they were assigned at birth.
But, what does “the best” mean to you?
You’re finding the best doctors and therapists for your child.
You just want your kid to be accepted.
You strive to do your best to protect your child and minimize their exposure to mistreatment, from outright bullying to the snide remark muttered under someone’s breath.
You’re dealing with informing everyone in the best manner you can, to smooth the way for your child. You’re talking with schools, other parents, your family and friends, the list of people to contact seems to go on and on.
In all this effort to do your best for your child you can so easily forget yourself.
Yet we all know that to do your best in anything we need to be our best selves first.
After all, your mental health and emotional well being are setting the foundation upon which your child’s, your family’s and your own happiness are built.
The biggest gift you can give your child is a strong, emotionally healthy parent.
Hi, I’m Margot Hanley.
I work with parents of children whose gender identity is different from what they were assigned at birth.
Parents who are struggling with being the strong, supportive parent and managing their thoughts and feelings through all the challenges they face.
I teach them how to manage their minds and emotions so they can feel better now and create the future they want for their child, their families and themselves.
I work with parents of all ages, who have their own unique origins, experiences and struggles.
I worked through my own journey of acceptance.
Four years ago my 55-year-old brother told me he was transgender.
It really threw my head into a spin. He was happily married with two teenage children.
He had never given the slightest hint that he wasn’t comfortable in his birth-assigned gender. He played all the roles of son, brother, uncle, husband and father beautifully–and he seemed natural.
We’re close in age, and I just couldn’t imagine life without my big brother Michael.
I know first hand the work involved in trying to be supportive and failing to do so authentically. Wanting with all my heart to be the loving, accepting, supportive sister and yet struggling with all the things that come with this gender change.
I was torn on the inside.
Outwardly, I put up a nice facade, saying all the “right” things but inside I was torn with feelings of disbelief, confusion, worry, and fear. Letting go of all the expectations, the things I took for granted would be there in life, with my brother in it. Deep sadness that I couldn’t enjoy the future I always imagined with my brother.
I worried for his safety, fearing the violence he might face as he began to present himself as a woman in today’s world.
I found myself worrying for his wife, my niece and nephew. All kinds of worry and anxiety for his kids and how they would find the strength to accept their father’s changing gender identity. To accept their father, who they adored, as a woman.
I felt sadness for all the years he must have struggled through not living as his authentic self, but filling all the expectations of life as a man to keep everyone around him happy and secure.
I felt true disbelief at times that this was actually happening. A bit of the good ol’ “why me”?
Then Life Coach School changed everything…
For 25 years I had a career in patient care in the hospital setting. I worked with people dealing with severe illness, chronic illness, trauma, and end of life. I became the manager of my department and I found myself not wanting to climb any higher in hospital administration.
What I enjoyed most was being present and helping people during challenging times.
I was ready to move outside of the hospital setting and healthcare.
After leaving my job in healthcare, I had begun to follow an amazing life coach, who made an incredible impact on my life. Applying the self-coaching tools she taught enabled me to create the changes I wanted to see in my life.
She offered training to become a life coach. I knew immediately that this was what I wanted to do going forward. I could continue working one on one with people, yet helping them in a different and vitally important way through the challenges in their lives.
I began to apply my life coaching skills to my personal challenge of accepting my brother’s gender change while truly letting go of all the mental and emotional struggle. It was mind blowing and changed my life in every area for the better.
I used to feel like my emotions would just “come over” me. I would find myself consumed with worry, sadness, and fear. At times I could get busy and distract myself from them or push them down but I didn’t know how to find a way out of these feelings.
When I realized that feelings didn’t just come over me and I was able to find the thoughts that were driving them, it changed everything.
Through the self coaching tools I found my path to mental and emotional strength and stability.
I am secure in knowing that no matter what challenges I am facing, I am okay. I know how to process difficult situations and difficult emotions. I have my own back. I got this.
I immediately started to feel relief. I started to feel clear and in control. My relationship with my brother changed as I once again became authentic and present in our relationship. No more thoughts running through my mind that I was masking. No more fear and worry running in the background.
I quickly realized this was how I could help families as a coach.
I am a member of a few gender support groups. Through sharing and reading the stories of the struggles so many parents are experiencing I realized that I wanted to focus my coaching program on sharing these tools with them.
SInce I’ve started coaching parents of gender nonconforming children, I am honored and excited to help them create these changes in their own lives. Through my program they start using the tools from day 1, it is not just a learning process it is a doing process.
It is amazing to be a part of the transformation my clients go through from being at the emotional and mental effect of all that is happening in their world to taking charge of their emotions and well being through their most challenging moments.
I have been working with people in times of great change, challenge and crisis throughout my entire professional career. All of my training and experience allow me to provide a neutral, non judgemental space for my clients to share without worry or guilt. My clients find clarity through unconditional support.
I can hold the space for them and never try to control their outcome.
I ask powerful questions, teach the tools and allow my clients to find what is the best path for themselves and their family. Only they can know this.
Each struggle is unique, every story is different.
The good news is that you don’t have to wait for your life to get better. You can make it better starting now, you can chose to change your life starting today.
I can teach you the tools so you can coach yourself through any situation, not to keep you coming back for more coaching.
If you want to talk to someone who gets you, who understands the unique blessings and challenges of being a parent of a gender non-conforming child, consider scheduling a time for a one on one coaching session. We will talk about the issues you are struggling with right now, what you’d like to create in your life, and discuss ways to empower you to get the results you’d like in your life. Talking to a coach trained to help you with this is quite different than talking to a friend, your family, or a therapist. Curious?
If you’d like to give it a try, schedule a time to talk with me below.
It’s okay, I won’t judge. And if you could ask anyone that knows me they’d all say I’m quite friendly, approachable, down to earth, and not at all intimidating. This is your opportunity to get all those worries, fears, and negative thoughts off your chest with no censoring. Let’s get them out so we can look at them together and help you move past them to the live the life you envision.
Start to feel better
Book your free mini session now and let’s talk